We continue our review of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. As shown over the last several weeks, the first three habits – “Be Proactive,” “Beginning with the End in Mind,” and “Put First Things First” – focus on the inner self. They teach us how to deal with our personal lives and our private selves as we live out our days on this earth. The remaining habits, on the other hand, concern our public selves. Habit Four, “Think Win-Win”, helps us work with other people and improves our relationships with them. Thinking Win-Win means that we seek mutual benefit in all situations where cooperation is needed and where a long-term, quality relationship is wanted. It means that you make a commitment to explore all options until every party involved feels that a satisfactory solution has been reached.
Finding a Win-Win solution is not always easy though. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.” To master Habit Four, you must know exceptions and you must be willing to be creative in your thinking. When explaining Habit Four, Covey urges us to raise our level of thinking to a place where mutual solutions can be reached.
You may find resistance to Win-Win thinking. Many people believe that if you are nice you are not tough. But Win-Win is nice…and tough. To go for Win-Win, you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous. You not only have to be empathic, you have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you have to be brave. To do that, to achieve that balance between courage and consideration, is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to Win-Win.
Thinking Win-Win is applicable in nearly all situations and relationships. About a year ago, Win-Win thinking helped the Ardmore Village solve a dilemma involving two separate groups of active seniors. It took time and some creative ideas to reach a mutually beneficial solution, but it was worth the effort.
You see, the Ardmore Village is lucky enough to be the site where several Ardmore community bridge clubs meet each week to play bridge. On the designated bridge days, Ardmore Village’s Creative Living Center building buzzes with bridge players arriving early in the morning to set up for their all-day games. These players, most of whom are senior citizens, are extremely serious about bridge and have been playing for years with each other. It is truly inspiring to see their dedication and drive.
Ardmore Village also serves lunch to seniors each weekday for $2.00 per meal at this same Creative Living Center building. This means that around 11:15 a.m. many seniors arrive to socialize and enjoy a good noon meal together. While the building itself is large enough to accommodate several simultaneous groups, the parking is limited.
The presence of the all-day bridge players, in addition to the Village staff and volunteers, exacerbated the already problematic parking for those non-bridge-playing seniors wanting only to visit the Creative Living Center building for lunch or other short periods of time. As discussions ensued – some relatively heated – about how to handle the parking for all of the groups wanting to use the building at the same time, solutions were suggested. None, however, were mutually beneficial to all involved (which, as we have learned above, is the essence of Win-Win thinking).
A good, obvious solution was to build more parking spaces. The financial cost of this option, however, made it prohibitive. Forcing one or more of these groups to park in the lot across the street or in the lot at the back of the building seemed unfair and would be an enforcement nightmare for the Ardmore Village staff. Moreover, moving or canceling one or both of these important activities was unacceptable.
When it was finally determined that the real crux of the issue concerned only the eight parking spaces located very near the front entrance of the building, the Win-Win solution showed itself. Four of the spaces would be designated with signage indicating “one hour only” parking. The four remaining spaces would be kept open for unlimited parking. Thus, with minimal cost to the Ardmore Village, the all-day parkers continued to have the opportunity to use the spaces near the front door, while at the same time, several front-door spaces remained for the lunch crowd. While many in both groups would still have to park in the relatively-far spaces, everyone felt good about the solution.
Thanks Stephen Covey!
|
